Monday, August 6, 2012

Poets Should Not Be in Gyms

by Jefferson Hansen

because we should be scrawny and sensitive and smoking cigarettes

because we should look like we could blow away in a slight breeze

because we are uptight and have a high metabolism, anyway

because we are so smart we see through all the jock bullshit

because we consider line breaks more important than breaking personal bests

because we are too sensitive for the dank odor there

because our vocabulary intimidates our gym mates and we don't know how those guerrillas will take it    out on us

because we take no pleasure in slamming barbells to the floor after a set and saying, "ahhhh"

because all poets are alike and none of us like gyms

because gym people appreciate neither irony nor onomatopoeia

because gym people grin big and smug even when insecure in a manner determined to put us in our place

because, after Descartes, we value the bodiless mind over the soma

because exercise hurts our delicate bodies

because, except for Charles Olson, male poets should not be big, and female poets, if they are big, can be so only naturally or through imbibing

because we prefer talking to doing

because poets prefer pretty versifying to bristling brawn

2 comments:

Oscar Sparrow said...

This is absolutely why I do not go. I do like to shout our "ahhh" when I power lift a golden stanza from my flabby unconscious, but I don't think that counts.

Jefferson Hansen said...

Oscar,
But aren't stanzas awfully heavy? Especially those you write, with all that turgid terminology and slam-heavy meter?

Jeff

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