In My Bones

by Jefferson Hansen

This is where we happen to
be right now. Not liking it is
merely the result of a poor
attitude. Someone once told
me that Gregor Samsa would
feel better if he changed his
attitude about being a bug. But
on to other gyrations.We entered
this spot together, assuming
a certain exactness. But that
straight-on stuff never seems
to work anymore. We are
trying to get somewhere with
this. We will eventually figure
it out. Like Einstein. If he could
do it, then surely we can. I stopped
worrying about failing the day
my eyesight blurred forever.
I see better now because I
can't "see" precisely. It has to do
with evening the score. It has to
do with showing up when needed
most. It has to do with every
time someone needed me and
I didn't have the gumption.
This is a kind of cheer leading.
It is partly secondary to the
real action--where that is I don't
know--and we keep ourselves
in line by reminding each other
what it's all about. We will
make it. That's how things are
decided these days. You have to
do it. Just do it. No side discussions
no wishing things were different
no crying when the down is
no longer the up. We're coming together
on this. I can feel it. In my bones.

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Jefferson Hansen edits this blog. He has a book of short stories, Cruelty, and a novel, ...and beefheart saved craig, both from BlazeVOX.